"Must be good with children. Must be willing to donate blood twice a week. Type O-negative preferred. Inquire at castle on hill."
Cragbrook Castle loomed over the rain-soaked path that led up to it.
“Well! I say! This is a touch more than a hill!”, protested a young woman climbing her way up the dark sodden road.
Lightning slashed across the sky, followed by a matching crack of thunder.
“That means the storm is nearly overhead, Mistress”, said a second voice from under the woman’s cloak.
“Yes, yes. If you were out here, I would suggest that that is fairly self-evident, due to the sheer volume of precipitation”, she replied.
“That thunder was also a fairly risible cliché, if you don't mind me saying”, she said to me.
Which was a surprise, as I thought I was writing what she was going to say and do. Unable to come up with a good response to that I decided to skip the POV up the castle to check in with the people awaiting the potential babysitter’s arrival.
The soaked young woman nodded in satisfaction at my obvious discomfort.
In the main hall of Cragbrook, two figures sat on one side of the large dining table, looking at a single chair on the other side.
“Do you not think we should do this in the study or something?”, the man asked. “This table was supposed to seat 40, and it looks a bit ridiculous under the circumstances.”
The woman shook her head. “No, I think this is the right approach. The job is weird. This human is going to have to deal with some unusual things, and the scale of this interview table is the least of her worries. I will not lull her into a sense of normality like the last ones.”
The man considered the logic of this and decided to agree. Partially because it made sense, but also because he’d heard that tone from his wife before, and it rarely did him any good keep on resisting. “Fine, fine. Although, she is the only applicant, despite the gold coins, so I’m not sure what she would have to do to not get offered the job.”
“She is a babysitter, and like any other babysitter, she would not get the job if I felt she was not a capable ward for our darling Ivan”, she replied with a glare. “I will not hand him over to any Tom, Dick or Harry.”
The door to Cragbrook boomed in a less cliched way than the weather and the man jumped up to answer it.
“The door, Igor! Answer it you fool!”, demanded the woman with a grin.
“Don’t call me Igor”.
“Why not?”
“Well for one, that’s not my name. And for two it’s Igor-ist. You’re implying the traditional servant name is a pejorative, and I don’t appreciate it.”
“Oh god, you really have got all modern, haven’t you? We need this babysitter more than I thought. We need to get you out hunting properly at night again and not teaching Ivan.”
The man stood in silence for a moment.
“Sorry”, said the woman. “Can you please get the door, please, Vladimir?”
Vladimir said something in Romanian that has no direct translation, but if it did would not be repeatable. “I’m going Andreea, keep your wings on.”
He thought about opening the small entrance set in the main gate of Cragbrook. It was a lot easier, but he was mindful of what his wife had said, and decided the huge double doors opening would be a lot more in keeping with the job this woman had applied for, and so he swung them inwards.
“Ah, hello there. Vladimir, I presume?”, said the woman striding past him into the lobby of Cragbrook.
“Er, yes. Please come in”, Vladimir said redundantly at the back of the woman, who was already heading for the hall.
“We’ll be talking in the main hall, I trust?”, she asked.
“Yes, my wife is in there waiting for us. There is a nice fire going so we can dry your clothes. You must be soak….” Vladimir trailed off as he realised the woman was bone dry. He looked out at the hammering rain as he pushed the doors back to. Then shook his head and hurried after her.
“Thank you so much for coming”, said Andreea once they were all sat in the warmth and comfort of the great hall. “I hope this is not too overwhelming, sitting in the hall of a castle, talking about a job for gold coins.”
“No, not at all”, answered the woman. “A young vampire needs a firm hand, that much is clear. There is no time to waste in my experience, and the setting is very much in line with what I was expecting.”
Andreea opened her mouth to speak but had nothing to answer that.
“I think she’s a wizard or something”, whispered Vladimir. “She was dry as soon as she stepped inside.”
“I am not a wizard, you daft man”, she replied. “I am simply a babysitter looking for a new employer, and the 'code' in your advert was not especially troubling to decipher. Now what is your son’s name, and when do I get to meet him?”
“His name is Ivan”, said Andreea. “I guess you can meet him whenever you like. I was expecting to have to explain a lot more before we got to this point, to be honest. He should be getting up shortly.”
“Very good. My rate is 12 gold coins a week.”
The bird head handle of her umbrella chimed into the conversation. “And you will require every second Tuesday off!”
“Ah yes, very good reminder. I will require every second Tuesday off. I presume that will be acceptable?”
Vladimir took over from his shocked wife. “Yes, that sounds perfectly reasonable.” Then he looked over the babysitter’s shoulder. “Ah, right on cue. Ivan, I’d like you to meet your new babysitter.”
The babysitter stood and faced her new charge. “Ah, yes. I can see why you needed me. Very pale. Very unkempt. This is a young man in need of moulding if ever I’ve seen one.”
She held out a gloved hand. “Hello, Ivan. My name is Mary Poppins.”
